Untrue Blood Demo (A True Blood Episode Parody Fanfic)
Sorry if this is in the wrong spot but I wanted to show you guys my own fanfic story. Basically what I do is take the script for an episode and add in little jokes here and there. So with that out of the way here's a demo for my first Untrue Blood Episode.
Season 3 Episode 6 I got a right to sing the blues
Aka Blood,Violence,More Blood,Betrayel,Oh And Did I Mention Blood
Scene: Edgington Manor. Where Russell is allowed to bring home work because he's king
(Bill and Sookie are being dragged into the mansion by Russell and his minions in slow mo Matrix style. Eric and Lorena appear inside along with Talbot. Sookie is thrown into Talbots grasp and Bill is thrown on the floor)
Russell: Well guess who turned out to be completely unworthy of our trust.
Lorena: Why what's happened ?
Russell: He's been hiding something very interesting from us all.
Lorena: I knew it. I knew he was looking at those Eric&Bill pics on Deviant Art and then deleting them from the history.
Russell: They have those ? I mean no the OTHER thing.
Lorena: Oh that.
(Bill seeing an oopurtunity stakes one of the vampire guards. He explodes into a bloody mess. Bill then tries to stake Russell who uses his Super Shoulder Shrug Of Death knocking Bill into the ceiling)
Russell: (Laughs) Are you serious ? I'm OVER 9000!!! I mean almost 3000 years old.
Talbot: Ugh it's gonna take a week to repair this ceiling.
(Sookie tries to get to Bill but is stopped by Eric who grabs her. Russells two guards grab Bill)
Eric: I wouldn't let go of this if I were you. I don't know what it is but I do know it's quite valuable.
Russell: Valuable as in how ?
Eric: Well I'm pretty sure you could get a nice price for it on V-Bay
Talbot: Ah good maybe then we can buy a new tapestry rug.
Russell: I might consider it later but for now we need to get the plot moving. Talbot dear. Cue the opening credits please.
Talbot: Right Away
Scene: Edgington Manor. Where ceilings get destroyed and vampire guards get staked
Sookie: Eric what the ****!!!!!!!!
Eric: I have not had the pleasure of tasting it but all my instincts say it'd be quite extrodinary.
Sookie: I will never ever forgive you for this.
Eric: (Thinking) Damn there goes any oppurtunity I may have had to have had nasty primal sex with her. (Talking) Aww look it thinks we're equals
Russell: Not that that's wrong is it ?
Eric: Indeed (The two laugh)
Talbot: Do you care nothing about our home
Russell: Talbot. Not Now
Russell: In about 10 minutes dear. Now why don't you go upstairs and wait for me to have makeup sex with you. Right now I need to be the cruel king to get the story going.
(Talbot heads upstairs muttering angrily in German)
Lorena: What are you gonna do with our Mr.Compton if I may ask ?
Russell: Wingus, Dingus take Mr.Compton to the Sex Dun.... err I mean Slave Quarters. There my dear you will kill him slowly and painfully. Because what good is a drama show without a little torture you feeling me ?
Lorena: But Rus.....
Russell: DO NOT DEFY ME!!!!!!! I AM YOUR FATHER!!!!!!!! err I mean. I AM YOUR KING!!!!!!!!!
Lorena: Umm no you're not. I don't live in Mississippi. I'm just a guest here.
Russell: Oh right. Well err umm if you do this for me then I'll give you this Bill Compton Plushie. He says over 20 different phrases and you can hug him and squeeze him and call him George.
Lorena: Well I don't know
Russell: I'll also give you this Sookie Plushie that whatever damage you do to it will just regenerate. So you can torture it for as long as you want.
Russell: Take miss Stackhouse to the Library. I wanna ask her some questions after I repair the state of my marriage and find out how much she goes for on V-Bay.
Sookie: What's V-Bay ?
Russell: Oh sweetheart you really don't know anything do you.
Sookie: If I don't know anything then how come I was the grade school Spelling Bee champion.
Russell: Well it couldn't have anything to do with being able to read minds now could it ?
Sookie: (Stays quiet)
Russell: Yeah that's what I thought. Lorena proceed with your duties.
Lorena: Yes Your Majesty.
Sookie: If you kill him. I will kill you
Lorena: Oh please if you try any of that book 3 Club Dead **** then I'll rip out your ribcage and wear it as a hat
(Lorena leaves and Eric grabs Sookie)
Sookie: What are you doing here ? I thought you had other things to do.
Eric: Yeah I do. Mainly seeing those pics of me and Bill and bidding for you on V-Bay. Please don't take this the wrong way but shut up.
Sookie: Okay seriously what the hell is V.....
(Eric puts his hand over Sookies mouth and proceeds to take her to the library)